The College Student and the Irrational Attachment to Free Stuff

Last semester I discovered something truly magical about the internet–the internet is this insane web filled not only with cat videos and “adult content” but with links to places that will send you FREE STUFF.

Now, I’m not talking the kinds of things I really want, like free books or free clothes or free kittens. Better yet, free book contracts. But there’s something alluring nevertheless about the idea that you can click on a button, enter an address, and receive something in the mail for free. Or for the price of those pesky emails you delete out of your spam box every morning with a chuckle because for some reason you’re unhinged enough to find spam kind of hilarious ( Who do they think I am? Free Diapers? They’re really getting mixed signals here, aren’t they?).

Anyway, within a few weeks of my “free shit” spree, the mail began to arrive. It usually comes a piece at a time, a little envelope with a few bandaids and a coupon one day, a trial packet of tea the next. Sometimes with days in between I wait in agony for my next sweet nothing to arrive in our little college mailbox.

There’s just something about STUFF showing up with my name on it that really gets me. I mean, it’s universally acknowledged that most college students are so poor they do things like eat meals that consist of rice left over from their roommate’s other meals (with permission, of course). And yet, I take those steps out to my mailbox and there’s a (tiny) box of granola! Or a trial packet of chocolate Cream of Wheat! I do wonder, now that I think on it, how much my fixation on tiny things weighs in to my sample obsession, but let’s not over-psychoanalyze here.

And did I mention these samples almost invariably come with COUPONS? So if I like the thing, I can go out and I can get MORE OF THAT THING. For LESS, even. It makes me feel like a very super secret special member of a special club. Even though I know that I am simply a walking dollar sign to the senders. The trick’s on them, though. I’m entirely too poor for anyone to profit from me. 

So there you have it. A little glimpse inside the strange workings of my sad little mind. Happy Tuesday!


What College Students (Actually) Do During Finals Week, Part Two

Today is a very exciting day in Beezus, because we decided the best way to spend a day when none of us have finals is by having a Lord of the Rings marathon. After all, it’s nearly that exciting time all us cool people have been waiting for anxiously–the release of the Hobbit movie. So I thought, what better way to celebrate the end of the semester than LOTR?

And then I remembered that “Hobbit Scone” recipe I pinned ages ago and thought to myself, “I must have them.” (Original recipe here)

I admit a part of my recent resurgence in blogging has been due to the fact that I’m reading “Julie & Julia” right now and her blogging success story makes me feel infinitely guilty for neglecting my own online ranting efforts. So it’s not all that surprising that I’ve also been feeling the irresistible urge to cook things. Lots of things.

Of course, I have been struggling all semester to master the strange inferno that is our oven, and at last I’ve arrived at the issue–the bottom coils still work just fine, but the top ones don’t do a darn thing. Thus, very uneven heat. I moved the rack up a bit and voila, excellent (and adorable) hobbit scones. 

 The adorable shape is courtesy of my friend Feliks, who got me a lovely rolling pin full of all sorts of cookie cutters for Christmas last year. I found their tiny-ness exceptionally adorable (and perfectly appropriate for a hobbit)

Please excuse the very bizarre coloring of my thumb nail.

I promise I really do learn things at college, besides just the ways in which an apartment can be broken. It’s just I doubt the endeavors of me wrestling with literature or psychology would really interest anyone, other than as a slow descent into madness.

Anyway, back to pretending to revise my science fiction story. Happy finals week, college kids!